Intentional Difficulty
Your middle class upbringing could be detrimental to your personal and professional development, here’s why…
My Experience
I grew up in an assuredly comfortable middle-class household. My parents had lucrative careers; therefore, i was provided with a pleasant standard of living. I’ve never had to worry about when the next meal was or if i could afford new shoes for school. It’s been kushty.
My relative comfort has allowed me to develop intellectually, academically and physically; thus, my lifestyle has fuelled my personal development. The cocoon of the middle-class has allowed me to pursue opportunities relevant to the self-actualisation nodule of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs; I’m afforded a luxury that billions across the world don’t have access to.
I’m immensely grateful for the circumstances i was brought up under. I could just as easily have been birthed into a war-torn country, or to terrible parents, or not at all. My existence and luck is beyond comprehensible, at least in my eyes.
In all honesty, i’ve never really struggled for anything. Sure enough i’ve had challenges — i’ve completed university, ran half-marathons, adopted gruelling stoic practices, but i’ve never really struggled. I’ve never had to properly hustle just to stay afloat.
And i think there’s something to say about this disposition and the mental fortitude this creates in those subjected to difficulty.
Rags to Riches
We’ve all heard the rags to riches story. They’re born into violence, deprivation and poverty and by grinding through gritted teeth, they eventually blossom into succesful athletes, actors and wealthy professionals.
Tom Cruise, JK Rowling and Oprah Winfrey are just a few names you’ll recognise as individuals who came from nothing. JK Rowling often recounts the times when she, as a single mother, would survive on welfare while writing the Harry Potter books.
The aforementioned individuals only represents the visible rags to riches stories but millions of these individuals exist across the globe. I believe the one common denominator is their strong-willed attitude and work ethic.
They’ve never had it easy. No trust fund, no supportive parents, no safety net to fall back on. They’ve had absolute responsibility for their own lives. As a result of this they’ve had to develop an impenetrable work ethic that sustains them through the most trying of times.
The only way to succeed is to work hard, always, all the time. No handouts. This exposure to challenging circumstances rightfully rewards them with a work ethic that Warren Buffet would be jealous of.
And that stays with them for their entire life. Or at least i think so. I’ve never experienced this for myself so i can’t speak on behalf of those that have struggled.
Intentional Difficulty
I haven’t struggled. But i think if i ever want to achieve my personal and professional goals then i need to. Or at least have more exposure to trying circumstances.
I need to experience real challenges, real roadblocks, a real predicament. As Yes Theory would say:
Seek Discomfort.
Overcoming student debt doesn’t count. Paying for my own things doesn’t count. Working a couple jobs while i’m young doesn’t count. I do all of these regardless.
I think if i ever want to develop a mental fortitude that truly makes me the best version of myself then i need to struggle. I think it’s important that i struggle. I know it’s paramount that i subject myself to pain, difficulty and obstacles because:
- I’ll develop an attitude and understanding of the world that sees the world as it truly is
- I’ll become a better problem solver
- I’ll learn how to be more empathetic with those less lucky than myself
I realise as i’m writing this that i’m romanticising the idea of poverty and deprivation. I’m not trying to. If it was up to me, UBI would be instituted worldwide. We’d all be provided with the same opportunities and standard of living.
What i’m trying to get at is the potential benefits of intentionally seeking difficult challenges or putting yourself in precarious situations. I’m not saying donate all your money to charity like Chris Mccandless from Into the Wild. I’m just saying there could be something to say for struggling.
If you rely on your parents for your rent, then pay your own. If you live at home, move out and force yourself to learn a new skill and develop an independent income. Slash the safety net, dive in at the deep end.
Closing Notes
This has all been a very convoluted way of saying:
“Subject yourself to difficulty”
But you get my point. Or at least i hope you do.
This article is simply a manifestation of my internal thought process over the past couple months. As i’ve increased my independence and reduced my reliance on my safety net, i’ve seen positive changes in my own attitude to work and life. If i don’t work, i don’t eat.
I believe there’s virtue to be found in difficulty.
I’d love to hear what you have to say. How did you grow up? How has this affected your attitude to life? Was this entire article bullshit and it’s really nature, not nurture, that manifests our attitudes? Let me know.
As Always,
Yours Honestly,
Liam Lawson.
